*******

“Kevin, please…don’t make me beg you. You have to do this!”

“Nick, YOU don’t have to do this - I forgive you, I’ve told you that!”

“But Kevin, I can’t forgive myself. I’ll never forgive myself for what I’ve done to you, how I’ve hurt you…and besides, I don’t believe you can forgive me…just like that…” 

******* 

His beautiful blue eyes were red-rimmed. He had been crying for what seemed like hours. It hurt less when they had been fighting, when Kevin screamed, and cursed at him, when he could feel the pain of Kevin’s hateful words. He deserved the icy stares, the fear he felt, as things broke around him; a glass, a mirror on the wall. He felt best when his guitar lay mangled and irreparable on the floor. He deserved to lose that – he loved that guitar… 

He deserved to lose Kevin. He loved Kevin more than anything or anyone he had ever known, and he had hurt him…more than Kevin had ever been hurt before.  

But Kevin said he forgave him. That was Kevin. That was one of the qualities of this incredible man who made Nick feel alive. From that first amazing time, Kevin had breathed life into Nick’s soul. Kevin was Nick’s first real love. 

There had been a particularly special girl – Nick thought he loved her. She was fun, and kind, and physical perfection…for a woman. He always laughed and had fun around her, and when she touched his dick, it would get hard. That was love, right? So after almost a year of dating, they were ready to make love. She was ready to have him inside of her. He was anxious to be there. He would feel something really special for her after they made love. He would want no one else after he came inside her. 

So he did. He came inside of her, and she came around him. And her passion was huge, and hot. She gave it to him to nurture, to feed. He was supposed to take her passion and give it back, intermingled with his own, the sum greater than the parts. 

He tried. He held it in his hands, like glowing embers, ignited by her love for him. She watched as he gently blew on them, added kindling, and fanned them, desperately, trying to coax a flame from the precious coals. But they grew cold, and dark; and then they slipped through his fingers, wasted ashes. 

He saw the sorrow on her face. She knew she wasn’t the one. She had known for sometime, actually, but denied her instincts. As Nick looked at her, confused, apologetic, she told him it was okay. She told him his passion burned for Kevin. As he allowed her words to un-lock his own deeply buried feelings for this man, the spent ashes suddenly erupted into flames; he had an erection and no one had touched him. 

Nick searched his memories desperately – what had she seen that he hadn’t? Or was he just too terrified to see the truth? Sure, he had always looked up to Kevin. He was so much older, and he seemed so wise about everything – about life. Isn’t it normal to admire someone like that? Isn’t it normal to go to a more experienced guy with questions about your body and women’s bodies? Wasn’t it normal to go to Kevin when he was scared or lonely on the road, and when Kevin would let him watch TV, fall asleep or work through a crying spell with his head in his lap…that was normal, wasn’t it? When Kevin stroked his hair, rubbed his back, and whispered over, and over, that it would be okay – that was perfectly normal. When Nick started to crave Kevin’s touch, when he became cranky if he was without it, and developed goose bumps as it returned – that was normal, normal, normal.  

No, no…NO! It wasn’t normal at all. It was totally fucked up. He was totally fucked up. Sure, he still dated girls and had some great sex, but even better than the sex was talking to Kevin about it afterwards. Kevin would always ask him what the girl was like, and what they did. He’d ask Nick what he liked the girls to do to him, what excited him the most or felt the best. He never made him feel stupid or embarrassed. After a lot of those talks, he’d be all damned hard again and have to jerk off in his bunk. He used to think it was the memories of the sex that got him all hot, but now he thinks it was being with Kevin – talking about sex with Kevin – that got him off. Shit, those were some confusing years. He doesn’t know how Kevin kept from seducing him for so long; it would have been so simple. But he just waited, till Nick was 17, and was so miserable and confused about his feelings for Kevin, that Kevin felt forced to validate those feelings or Nick would go nuts. So Kevin said he understood, and he felt the same, and Nick wasn’t crazy, and wasn’t even necessarily gay. And it was okay. It would be okay. That’s all Kevin needed to say and Nick knew it was all right.  

********** 

“Fuck you, Kevin!” A frustrated Nick shoved Kevin hard in the chest with both hands. Caught off guard, Kevin struggled to maintain his balance.

“Nick! Stop it! I told you this wasn’t necessary!”

“NO! I’ll make you hit me one way or another, you asshole!” He pushed him again, and again. Kevin resisted Nick’s shoving, but was driven back repeatedly, trying his best to protect himself as he worked to get Nick calmed down.

“Do it, Kevin! Come on – don’t you want to punch me out? Didn’t you want to hit me when you saw me with someone else’s dick in my mouth?”

He shoved Kevin again.

“I was loving it, Kevin, sucking someone else!” His final push slammed Kevin into the wall.

“Damn it, Nick! I said to stop!”

Nick was frantic, pummeling Kevin’s chest, as Kevin struggled to physically subdue him, grasping at Nick’s flying fists as they came closer to his face. Nick was yelling, tears again filling his flashing eyes as he continued to cajole Kevin into striking him.

“Nick, I’m not going to hit you! Now get a grip!” Nick weakened a bit as his tears increased, clouding his vision. Kevin finally got a good hold on his wrists and pinned him chest-first against the wall, leaning his full weight into Nick’s back until he stopped moving. The right side of Nick’s face was pressed firmly against the cool surface. Kevin finally felt the resistance fade and Nick relaxed under his body. Neither talked, their breathing labored from the physical struggle. Christ, Kevin thought, when had Nick gotten so big and so strong? How had he grown up so fast? Kevin rested his face against Nick’s tear dampened cheek and closed his eyes. The only other sound was a soft, pitiful sobbing that filled Kevin’s ears and wrenched at his heart. 

He thought quickly. Perhaps Nick was right, that he could never forgive himself unless Kevin hurt him back in some tangible way. He really did forgive him. Nick had gone to that bar that night still hot from some stupid argument they had had. He had gotten drunk, and that in combination with his sexual naivety made him an easy hit. Kevin realized it wouldn’t have been that difficult for someone to talk him into a sexual encounter. Nick being such a tasty young prize, Kevin was thankful and relieved that nothing worse had happened before he found him and dragged him out of there. Nick was lucky his sweet young ass hadn’t been raped bloody in that sleazy alley behind the club. God, what a disaster that night was! He’d never forget the anger he felt when he saw Nick on his knees, some stranger fucking his mouth. And how horrified Nick was to find himself jerked to his feet, grabbing for that wet penis as it flew from his lips. The man cursed and called him a cock-whipped little bitch as Kevin literally picked him up and threw him in the car… 

Nick’s sobs jarred Kevin back to the present, and the problem facing him. It was time for Nick to forgive himself and let go of his guilt. Kevin was finally convinced that he had to do what Nick asked. It was what Nick needed to get past this. Kevin knew that the most loving thing he could do for Nick was to give him the punishment he needed to move on. 

“Okay, Nick - you win.” He stood back and turned Nick to face him. Nick looked at him rather bewildered, unsure what Kevin meant. Kevin looked deeply into Nick’s eyes.

“You’re right Nick. You need to pay for what you did to me – to us. I’m going to punish you, Nick. It’s going to happen right now, and it’s going to be done my way. You will not protest. You will do exactly as I say. I will decide when you’ve had enough.” 

Nick had stopped crying. He listened intently to everything Kevin said, wiping his swollen eyes with the backs of his hands. His face was red and splotchy, his lower lip puffy and quivering. 

“Do you agree?” 

Nick hesitated a moment, and then nodded. 

Kevin said a silent prayer, hoping that he was doing the right thing, that Nick’s needs would be met, and that he wouldn’t hurt him too much.

He pulled Nick into a secure hug.

“I love you, Nicky,” he whispered, holding Nick’s head affectionately against his shoulder.

“I love you too, Kevin,” Nick sniffed.

Kevin pulled back from the hug. Nick looked suddenly apprehensive.

“All right, Nick. I want you to go into the bedroom and undress. Kneel against the side of the bed and wait for me. Why don’t you use the bathroom first, if you need to.”  

“Do you mean, undress, like everything?”

“You can leave your boxers on.”

Nick swallowed hard. He looked down at his hands as they fidgeted in front of him. “Kevin?”

“Yes, Nick?”

“Can I please keep my shirt on? I feel so naked without it unless you’re naked, too.” 

“You’re supposed to feel naked, Nick. You’re supposed to feel vulnerable and uncomfortable – that’s the point.” 

Nick managed to look directly into Kevin’s eyes.

“Whatever you say, Kevin. I’ll do whatever you say, if you’ll forgive me.”

He turned and went to the bedroom. Kevin heard the bathroom door close and knew he had a couple of minutes. He slipped into the bedroom and put the temperature up a few degrees so Nick wouldn’t be cold with his clothes off. He turned on the bedside lamps and closed the curtains, so the room wouldn’t feel so starkly revealing. Then he left, pacing in the sitting room, till Nick was ready. 

About ten minutes had passed when Kevin heard Nick in the bedroom. The sound of movement was brief, and then all was quiet. Nick must have undressed while he was in the bathroom, Kevin thought, and he was probably ready. Kevin debated how long to make him wait, and decided two or three minutes was plenty of time for Nick’s anticipation to work on him. He glanced at his watch a few times, and then headed for the bedroom when two minutes had passed. 

The door was open, but Kevin knocked on it respectfully.

“Nick, are you ready?”

“Yes,” Nick replied, quite softly. 

Kevin entered the room. Nick’s near-naked form came into view, sitting back on his heels at the side of the bed; his forearms pressed into the upper edge of the mattress, his forehead leaning against his clasped hands. He sat perfectly still, his breathing calm for the first time in hours. Kevin marveled at the peacefulness. He allowed his eyes to take in the stunning site. He stared at the blonde hair, sun kissed, suiting Nick perfectly in its present style of reckless abandon. He looked over the arms, the tattoos a contradiction on his tender skin. His back curved smoothly down to a subtle tan line, from those times when Nick felt hidden enough to allow the sun to see his naked torso. His pale upper thighs contrasted sharply against his tanned lower legs and feet, those feet that loved to be without shoes on the beach and anywhere else he could justify the lack of footwear. 

Nick never looked up, never peeked from his hiding place against his hands.

Kevin made note of a brief twitch of his dick as he stared at Nick. Pushing that thought away, he walked to Nick’s side. 

“Stand up please, Nick.”

Nick’s cherubic face tilted up at Kevin as he slowly stood. They were face to face, hardly a foot between them. Nick averted his eyes.

“Look at me Nick.”

Nick obediently met his gaze, his trusting eyes submissive. ‘So beautiful and innocent’, Kevin thought, wondering if he knew yet what Kevin was going to do.

As Kevin monitored Nick’s _expression, he unbuckled his belt with a soft metallic ‘clink’; he slid it through the loops, catching the free end as it fell loose. Folding it in half, he lowered it to his side, gripped loosely in his right hand. Kevin watched closely; Nick’s pupils subtly dilated, his nostrils flared briefly. His eyes darted nervously within the confines of Kevin’s gaze. He licked his dry lips and swallowed hard, his _expression a mixture of fear and disbelief. 

“Come on Nick, let’s get this over with. I want you to bend over the bed for me.”

Nick’s breathing visibly quickened. He paused briefly, and then did what he was told. He turned to face the bed, bent at the waist, and placed his hands shoulder width apart. He pushed his arms straight, and let his head drop between his upper arms; his eyes closed tightly in self-consciousness. 

“Legs wider, Nick.” 

Nick increased his stance without a word. 

“Perfect.” 

Kevin moved up behind Nick. He put the belt down on the bed, conspicuously within Nick’s field of vision. He slipped his fingers into the waistband of Nick’s boxers and started to pull them down. Nick’s hand came out of nowhere and clamped down on Kevin’s wrist; Kevin looked up to see Nick’s head turned toward him, a panicked look on his face.

“These have to come off, Nick,” Kevin said firmly. Nick stared briefly, then sighed, resignation in his eyes, and returned his hand to the bed. Kevin resumed baring Nick’s buttocks, pulling the undergarment smoothly over his hips. He swore he heard a soft moan. He then slid them to the floor where he nudged Nick to step out of them. He stood back up, and stepped right up against him. He ran his hands over the naked back as he started to speak. Nick’s head came up, and he pressed his back into the heavenly touch. 

“Nick, I won’t hit you on your back or on your legs. I won’t bruise you or break your skin. But I promise you some welts, and your eyes are going to water, and you’re going to want me to stop before I’m done. You betrayed me Nick. You betrayed us. You risked our love. You risked our lives. What if you’d fucked that guy, or he’d fucked you, and what if he had HIV, or Hepatitis C?” 

Nick made a really bad decision to defend himself. 

“But Kevin, that’s why I just blew him, so I wouldn’t catch anything.” 

Kevin boiled; all of the anger of that forgiven transgression came roaring back. His hands froze on Nick’s back. Then, in one frightening movement, he slid onto the bed on his right knee, and yanked Nick’s head around by his hair to face him. His left hand flew between Nick’s legs and latched onto his balls like an alien.

Nick squealed, then silenced himself in panic. Kevin’s eyes were on fire; his voice frighteningly controlled, as he enunciated flawlessly a mere inch from Nick’s nose… 

“You stupid, careless fuck…” He tightened his hold on Nick’s tender genitals. Nick inhaled sharply, but made no protest.

“You can get gonorrhea and herpes, and who knows what else, in your throat or mouth!”

“K-Kevin…I swear I never knew that…I swear…” he tried to shake his head, forgetting Kevin held his hair; his eyes were like saucers.

“I can overlook ignorance Nick, but if you had enough conscience about you, and you were sober enough to consider whether or not you were having “safe sex”, then you had enough sense to not cheat on me. What about that, Nicky, huh?” Kevin growled, searching Nick’s eyes for some sort of reason. Silent tears streamed from Nick’s eyes, yet he kept eye contact with Kevin.  

Kevin watched Nick’s tears; he was impressed that Nick made no effort to look away, that he faced him. Kevin sighed, and brought his hand away from Nick’s scrotum. He let go of Nick’s hair, and took Nick’s face in both hands. He closed his eyes and touched his forehead to Nick’s.  

“Aw, Nick…what am I gonna do with you?” 

“How about what you came in here to do?” Nick said softly, simply. 

Kevin looked into Nick’s eyes and saw the pain there, and reminded himself that it was time for them both to get past this. He stood up and pulled Nick with him.

“Come up here a minute, Nick, and stretch your back.”

Nick stood up and Kevin stayed behind him, massaging the muscles of his back and shoulders. As he ran his hands down Nick’s arms, Nick leaned back and dropped his head onto Kevin’s shoulder.

“Kevin?”

“What, Nick.”

“See – you haven’t forgiven me. You got so mad…” 

Kevin didn’t know what to say. He was pissed off at the new information about that night, but he truly did forgive Nick. Nick was never going to believe that as things stood now.

Nick started to cry softly again. He leaned away from Kevin, and bent passively back over on the bed.

“Please, Kevin…please…I hurt you so badly…please make it right…I can’t fix it,” he sobbed. “Please… fix it…” his voice trailed off, barely a whisper. 

Kevin picked up the belt. 

He walked around and stood behind Nick. He held the folded leather in his right hand. He touched the loop of the belt between Nick’s shoulder blades and slowly skimmed it down his back. Nick shivered.

“I want you to think about what you did, Nick.”

He next drew it up the inside of his thigh.

“Was it worth it?” He tapped the belt lightly on Nick’s ass.

“I asked you a question, Nick, was it worth it?”

“No.”

“No what?” He took the belt away.

“No, it wasn’t worth it.”

“Did it feel good having someone else’s cock in your mouth?”

Kevin reached under Nick and looped his penis with the belt.

“NO! No…I…it felt…wrong…”

“It was wrong, Nick.”

He removed the belt.

“It was very wrong. And I’m going to beat the hell out of you.” 

Kevin backed away a step. He placed his fingertips on Nick’s left hip to help him judge his distance.

“All right Nick, are you ready?”

His blonde head nodded.

“Want to change your mind?”

“No.”

“Good answer!”

Kevin brought his right arm back, and then swung forward, landing the first stroke perfectly horizontal across both cheeks with a crisp snap. Nick tensed, but made no noise. Kevin realigned, touching Nick’s hip again. He swung a little harder this time, feeling more confident in his aim.

Crack!

Nick flinched again, but still kept silent. 

Kevin bent slightly and carefully looked at the skin of Nick’s buttocks. There was the faintest blush of pink across the middle of the lush, pale cheeks. Kevin was reassured he could get significantly more aggressive without causing any real harm to Nick. 

“All right Nick, warm-up’s over. You and I are going to get serious now.” 

Nick shifted his legs nervously. Kevin looked at Nick’s body bent over the bed - he had a totally unobstructed view. Nick’s long legs were sensuously spread, revealing a set of the prettiest genitals Kevin had ever seen. His scrotum was young and taut against his body. The perfectly shaped, velvety head of his cock was impressively visible below the lower edge of his scrotum. Kevin closed his eyes. He hated this. He wanted to fondle that ass, not take a strap to it. 

Nick grew more unsettled with the pause, and dared to look back. Kevin stood, his weight casually on one leg. His long arms hung gracefully at his sides, the dark leather belt actually sensuous in his sinewy fingers. His head was balanced comfortably back, eyes closed and lips barely parted. He looked impossibly handsome in jeans, and a white Tee shirt that hugged his arms and chest. Nick couldn’t help but notice the stress apparent on Kevin’s brow.

Nick turned back around. “Kevin?” he called softly.

Kevin’s eyes shot open. “I’m sorry, Nick. I shouldn’t make you wait like that.”

He stepped closer to Nick, fingertips again to the left hip. He re-gripped the belt in his hand. He swung his arm back, but this time when he came forward, he snapped his wrist sharply. 

Crack!! 

“UHH!” Nick yelped, his head rising, stunned. He panted briefly through the sting. He lowered his head only slightly, clearly shaken after that one. 

Kevin touched his fingers to Nick’s hip as before, but Nick startled. He was obviously on edge now.

“It’s just my fingers, Nick,” Kevin softly reassured him. “You will feel my fingers first, okay? It orients my aim.” 

“I’m sorry I jumped, Kevin…”

Kevin smiled at how compliant Nick was trying to be. 

“Just my fingers now, Nick…” he reminded, as he replaced his hand.

The next three strokes Kevin meted out were hard. The first brought a wail and some significant panting. The second caused a similar response. The third dropped Nick to his elbows; he made no sound. Kevin saw a stray tear fall to Nick’s forearm, where it held its shape like a glass bead. 

“It hurts badly, doesn’t it Nick,” Kevin said soberly. He sat on the bed and leaned close to Nick’s face.

“Did you think about the pain you’d be causing me when you went looking for sex?”

Nick was silent, still recovering from the sting of Kevin’s latest assault on his ass. Kevin stood up and moved behind Nick again. He checked Nick’s buttocks closely. There was a larger area of color, more intensely red. He counted at least three raised welts, two parallel, and the third at a slight angle across them. They were largely on Nick’s right cheek. 

Kevin turned and stood on Nick’s right this time. He looked carefully at his target. He needed both hands to do this, and he warned Nick. 

“Nick, no fingers this time.”

Nick tensed every muscle; his eyes clamped shut. He started to exhale shallowly through pursed lips, like a pregnant woman panting through a contraction. Kevin brought the belt back with both hands, his left hand on the end of the loop. He came at Nick backhanded, letting his left hand slip from the loop at the last second, landing the stroke primarily on the left buttock. 

CRACKKK!! 

“OWWWwww…Uhhhhh…KEVIN!!” Nick cried out, his back arching, neck and shoulders tensed tightly back. Tears welled in his eyes, threatening to spill with the addition of just one more drop of liquid. He panted heavily, but finally settled back to the bed. Kevin knew they were close.  

“Have you had enough Nick?”

“You’re supposed to decide…you say when we’re done…” Nick’s voice cracked; he was trembling.  

“That was the right answer Nick. That must have been very hard to say. You’ve been surprisingly brave – I don’t think I could have taken this as well as you have.” 

Kevin was deeply touched by what Nick had endured to earn his forgiveness. Nick still didn’t realize fully that this was about forgiving himself. Kevin found this difficult. He wanted to be done. 

“One more Nick – you need one more.” 

Nick’s head fell at this news, but he didn’t say a word.

Kevin took the same approach as the last time. He saw a new welt, this one on the left side. The earlier ones were starting to fade, which gave him great relief.

“Okay, baby. I’m so sorry…this is going to hurt bad…”

Nick pulled the bedspread into his fists, his entire body taut.

Kevin delivered a wicked backhand to Nick’s tender bottom. 

WhaaacKKK!! 

“UHHhhhhh…FUCK!…GOD!…KEVIN!…NOOooo…”

Nick began to sob.

“Kevin…I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry…” 

Kevin laid the belt quietly on the floor and sat down on the bed beside Nick. Nick fell to his knees between Kevin’s parted legs and laid his upper body in Kevin’s lap. His shoulders quaked with uncontrollable sobs, as he continued to pour out his desperate apologies. Kevin tenderly stroked his head and watched as Nick’s demons left him. 

“…Kevin, I love you so much…I’ll never do it again, I’ll never do it again…I promise…oh, God, what have I done…please forgive me, don’t leave me…I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry…God help me, I’m so sorry…so... sorry…so... sorry…”  

The crying that ensued was unlike anything Kevin had ever heard. It wasn’t sadness, or shame…it was pure grief, and it poured from Nick like an endless river. The sound was so painful, so pitiful, that Kevin could hardly bear to listen. He bent over Nick and held him as tightly as he could, his own tears running unnoticed off Nick’s back, leaving salty snail trails in their path. Nick would sob his lungs empty, continue in breathless silence, finally heaving the oxygen desperately from the air to start again. 

Nick finally quieted some; he pressed up against Kevin’s chest. Kevin sat up, and helped Nick straighten his stiffened back. Nicks eyes were red and swollen; his magnificent blue irises, magnified by his tears, were almost surreal. Kevin gathered the kneeling, naked treasure into his arms. Nick burrowed his face into Kevin’s neck, his exhausted body heaving periodically with intermittent sweet gasps of ensuing peace. The small catches in his breath, the occasional residual sobs, were almost melodic now, entrancing Kevin; Nick’s hot face was heaven against his neck. The gentle rush of his shallow- mouthed breathing at Kevin’s ear was the only sound he ever needed to hear again. 

Kevin loosened his embrace a bit and looked at Nick’s face tucked against his neck. Nick opened his eyes as Kevin’s hand came to his cheek; Kevin gently shrugged Nick’s head off his shoulder and into the bend of his elbow. His thumb softly grazed Nick’s chin and lower jaw. For a brief second, Kevin looked at his own fingers against Nick’s skin, recalling the look and the feel of the leather that he had held in that hand. He squeezed his eyes tightly, trying to force the image from his brain, the site of Nick’s punished buttocks, the sound of his pain.

“Kev?”

Kevin opened his eyes, not having noticed through his troubled thoughts that Nick was kneeling upright again in front of him, a frightened look on his face.

“Nick, what’s wrong?” Kevin asked, almost panicked.

Nick’s fingers came trembling to Kevin’s cheeks. “Kev, you’re crying…you don’t cry…what’s the matter? What have I done?” Nick desperately wiped at the tears that, unbeknownst to Kevin, had started flowing down his cheeks. Nick’s own eyes welled up as he shook his head and tried to stop Kevin from crying.

“No, no…Kevin…what is it, please stop! You’re scaring me!”

Kevin’s lips trembled. Nick’s fingers touched them, tried to still them, but they moved too much, and there were too many tears, and he couldn’t catch them all and they kept coming and coming and Kevin sobbed…Kevin doesn’t cry…he doesn’t cry…what have I done…what have I done…what have I done…

“Kevin, please! What have I done?!”

“I hurt you, Nick. I hated it!” Kevin wailed. “I didn’t want to hurt you!”

Relief flooded Nick’s heart, and empathy filed his eyes, and he raised Kevin’s shame-stricken face to his.

“Kevin – look at me,” he asked softly. Kevin still looked down.

“Damn it, Richardson…look at me!”

It wasn’t clear who was more shocked at Nick’s sudden assertiveness. Kevin met Nick’s gaze. Nick smiled sweetly. Still holding Kevin’s face in his hands, Nick looked lovingly at his hero, his mentor – his first lover.

“Kevin, you didn’t hurt me. Well, my butt stings like hell,” he winced, “but you didn’t hurt me.”

Kevin calmed and listened intently.

Nick took Kevin’s hands in his.

“Kevin, I was miserable. I didn’t know what to do, how to make up for what I did. You forgave me, I know that. But I felt so bad, because I didn’t deserve your forgiveness, at least I didn’t think I did. What you did made me feel better. I feel like a weight is off me. I feel, kind of like after confession, or something. How did you know? How did you know what to do? I mean, it sounds so stupid, like a little kid or something, that I needed my ass whipped - and you did a pretty good job, too!” Even Kevin smiled at that.

“God, Kevin. I love you so much. I don’t think I realized just how much you loved me till now. You loved me enough to do this…this…hard thing. It must have been so hard for you. I don’t think I could ever do something like that to you…” 

“But that’s different Nick, because you know I’d kill you,” Kevin managed to joke, wiping the residual tears from his eyes. Nick smiled.

“Well, yeah… But you know what I mean.” 

Kevin freed his hands and ran them through Nick’s golden locks, trying in vain to tame them a little.

“How’d I get so lucky to find you, Nick?” He kissed Nick’s forehead. “And when did you start to get so wise and articulate? Hmm?” He smiled at Nick, who grinned from ear to ear.

“Come up here and lay with me.”

Nick struggled to get his feet under his stiff and exhausted legs. As he stood, he winced, and turned to try and see his backside.

“Let me see, Nick,” Kevin asked, turning Nick’s back to him. Nick peered over his shoulder as Kevin gingerly touched the skin. There were remnants of some raised stripes, and some fading redness, but it looked better than Kevin thought it would. He had seen worse marks from towel fights the guys occasionally had in the showers at the venues after a show. 

Kevin watched Nick’s face as he ran his finger along a red welt.

“Ahh!” Nick winced.

“Is it real bad Nick?”

“It’s pretty sensitive.” He reached back with his own hand and tested several places.

“Wait here a sec.” Kevin maneuvered around Nick to stand up, and then headed for the bathroom. He returned seconds later with a topical anesthetic cream for sunburns.

“Come here…let me put some of this on you.” He sat back down on the bed.

“Can I lay down?”

“Hmm, excellent idea. Why don’t you stretch out right over my lap,” Kevin motioned, his eyes locking on Nick’s.

Nick felt a tug in his groin. He knelt on the bed to Kevin’s right, reached his arms across Kevin’s legs to the bed, and slowly slid prone onto his lap. He crossed his forearms and rested his head there, his face toward Kevin. He wiggled a bit, getting his hips perfectly situated, then sighed and went pleasantly limp. 

Kevin took a long look. Nick, naked, across his lap, butt raised teasingly over his thighs, waiting to be touched – oh, yes…this worked for him.

He took the tube of cream and squeezed a bit onto his fingertips.

“Tell me if this hurts, Nick, okay?”

“Okay.”

Kevin started to softly spread the cool cream over the reddened areas of Nick’s bottom. Goosebumps appeared on Nick’s skin.

“Am I hurting you Nick?”

“Mmmm, not at all. It feels good.”

“Good!” He continued applying the soothing medication with an equally soothing touch. He noticed Nick starting to rock his hips ever so slightly.

“Ohh, god, Kevin…that feels so good…ahh…” Nick sighed, increasing the motion of his butt on Kevin’s lap.

“Nick, if you keep moving like that, I’m going to get a hard-on. And if that happens, I might have to fuck you. I don’t know if your ass is up to that kind of activity.”

Kevin let his finger trail to the cleft of Nick’s cheeks, lingering just a moment before removing his hand.

“We wouldn’t want to get any anesthetic cream down there, now, would we?”

“Oh, Kevin. Don’t tease me!”

Nick pushed himself, catlike, up to his knees; he sat back on his heels. His cheeks were flushed; his half turgid cock waved at Kevin. 

Kevin eyed Nick’s mouth – God, what a mouth. That was the hardest part of keeping his hands off Nick until he was older. From the time Nick was fourteen, he was all Kevin could think of; particularly that mouth. Those young boy lips would have felt so good. That silken, pink tongue, too young to be furrowed or stained from coffee or cigarettes…fuck! It all looked so shiny and wet inside, gorgeous white teeth – oh, some gentle biting with those… When Nick sang, and gave that sexy glance to the side, his mouth open, and then smiled, it was clearly one of the hottest things Kevin ever saw. 

“Mmm, bring that mouth over here Nick.”

Nick leaned in and their lips touched. Kevin kissed him ever so gently, just wanting to feel the softness, the suppleness of those lips. Nick melted when Kevin kissed him like that. It was exactly like their first kiss – he would never forget the effect of that first kiss. 

“Kevin?”

“Yeah baby?” Nick loved it when Kevin called him baby.

“I wish I were a virgin again.”

Kevin didn’t know whether to be intrigued or to panic.

“Why’s that Nick?” He looked intently into Nick’s eyes as he awaited the answer. Nick shied a bit.

“Because I liked how you did me the first time.” Kevin smiled inside, relieved.

“How I did you?” Kevin started to caress Nick’s bare thighs. “How did I do you, hmm?” He never took his eyes off Nick’s, even as Nick began glancing away, intimidated at times by Kevin’s intensity, and embarrassed by what he wanted to tell him. 

“Well, you were so gentle, but you were, like, so in charge. I liked our first kiss.”

“Mmm, I liked it too.”

Kevin put one hand behind Nick’s head, his other fingertips feather-light on Nick’s jaw. He pulled him into a slow, sensuous kiss, no tongue yet, then gazed into Nick’s eyes as they opened.

“Was it something like that?”

“Uh huh…” Nick’s breathing picked up.

“What else did you like?”

“The way you undressed while I watched…”

“Would you like me to take my clothes off in front of you now?”

“Yes…”

“Do you want to help or do you just want to watch?”

“I just want to watch. I love to watch you – it’s hot…”

“Oh, it is, huh,” Kevin raised his eyebrows as he stood beside the bed.

Nick turned to face him. Kevin pulled his Tee shirt smoothly off, lowered his arm, and let the shirt slip from his fingertips onto the floor. Nick was transfixed. Kevin stood, hips canted forward. His hands moved to the front of his jeans; he cupped them deliciously over his prominent bulge.

“You want to see this Nick?”

“I want to touch it first.”

He gingerly scooted to sit on the side of the bed where Kevin stood. Kevin dropped his hands to his sides and watched as Nick took his hand and cupped him. He looked seductively up into Kevin’s eyes as he moved his hand firmly over his genitals.

“Mmm…that feels good, Nick…”

Nick removed his hand and sat back.

“Let me see…”

Kevin pushed the button of his jeans through its hole, and pulled down the zipper. Bending over, he removed his shoes and socks. He finally worked his jeans and boxers down just over his hips, revealing a full erection. Nick stared and ran his tongue once over his lips. Kevin reached out a hand, and drew the backs of his fingers across Nick’s cheek. His hand retreated; he smoothly slid the pants off his lean legs, and stood stunningly nude in front of Nick. 

Kevin eased right into his role. He had shown Nick his vulnerable side today, a rarity, indeed. It was good, and it was timely. But Nick liked him strong, and Kevin needed to take charge again. Kevin liked power, and he liked being in control. 

He went to the night table and retrieved some lubricant, tossing it onto the middle of the bed. Returning to where Nick sat, he used his legs to coax Nick’s together, and walked in close, straddling Nick’s thighs. He just stood there for a moment, letting Nick look. Nick reached out tentatively and touched Kevin’s rigid penis, exploring the head and then the shaft with his articulate fingers, finally conforming his hand to the shape of Kevin’s balls and lightly caressing them. 

Kevin moaned, causing Nick to look up at him and smile. “Am I making you feel good Kev?”

“Too good, Nick.” He gently moved Nick’s hands away. He lifted Nick’s chin with his fingertips.

“Nick, I would normally just position you the way I wanted to, to make love. But you need to tell me how you think you’ll be most comfortable, since you’re sore”.

“I want to be on my back – I want to be able to see you.”

“Are you sure? When I start to move in you, you’re butt’s going to be rubbing against the bed.”

“If it hurts we’ll move, okay?” Nick grinned, “Then you’d get to start all over.”

“You’re starting to think too much like me, Nick – that’s something I’d say…” 

Kevin eased onto the middle of the bed, motioning Nick to him. He rolled Nick onto his back, and then carefully lowered himself onto the youthful body. They both moaned at the bare contact. They traded erotic stares before Kevin’s eyes lowered to Nick’s tender mouth. Nick was already incredibly aroused – his warm breath left his parted lips in hasty puffs. Kevin surrounded Nick’s breath with his mouth, and as their lips completed the seal, Nick drew air hungrily through his nostrils, like a source of oxygen discovered by a drowning man. Kevin’s tongue found its favorite partner, an agile, responsive dancer, light as a feather, that shifted easily from lead to follow and trembled appreciatively under an expert’s touch.  

Kevin sucked the tip of Nick’s tongue one last time then reluctantly released him.

Nick panted, appearing intoxicated from the kiss. Kevin turned Nick’s head to the side, and whispered in his ear; “Mmm, I can’t wait to get inside you…is that what you want Nick? You want me to fuck you baby?”

Nick moaned and nodded yes.

Kevin kissed just below Nick’s ear, and was rewarded with a shiver. He continued along the side of Nick’s neck with subtle brushings of his lips, and teasing swipes with his tongue. He reached the front and lightly sucked on Nick’s throat. Nick stretched his head back, urging Kevin to linger on that erogenous zone.  

“Ooh, Nick – you’re breathing pretty fast. Are you excited baby?”

“Yes…” he panted

“Good. That makes it easier.”

Kevin sat up on the bed and pulled a pillow out from under the spread.

“Lift your hips up Nick…” Kevin gingerly maneuvered the pillow under Nick’s hips. “Now let your weight back down.” Nick settled his hips onto the pillow.

“How’s that feel, Nick?”

“It’s okay. Really.”

“Great. Now you tell me if you start to get uncomfortable. You’d probably do well on your elbows and knees on the edge of the bed with me standing, okay?”

“Okay.”

Kevin bent Nick’s knees up. Tilted back on the pillow, his legs stayed easily without being held. Kevin then moved to Nick’s right side, holding Nick’s bent leg against him, giving his right arm easy access between Nick’s legs. He grabbed the nearby lubricant and removed the cap. 

“What else did you like the first time I was in you Nick? I want you to tell me exactly what you liked.”

Nick was beautifully flushed, his lips an amazing shade of red. He looked wondrously at the striking man who would soon enter his body, and lead him erotically through lovemaking.

“I liked the way you broke me in. Just starting with one finger…and you talked to me the whole time. You excite me when you talk to me, when you tell me what you’re going to do to me.”

“You do make it sound good!”

“Didn’t someone do your first time like that?”

“Unfortunately not. I got a kiss, I got on my knees, I got some lube, and I got a dick up my ass.”

“Shit…you never told me that.”

“There’s a time and a place for that kind of sex, but not the first time.” 

Kevin ran his hand up and down the inside of Nick’s thighs. Nick closed his eyes and stretched his arms up over his head, relishing the good feeling.

“Mmm, that feels nice.”

Kevin watched Nick’s face – he loved to see the changes in his _expression as he became more aroused. He made one last sweep up the left thigh and smoothly brought his palm under Nick’s scrotum. He watched Nick’s head go back, and his mouth open. His hands clenched the air; he sucked in a faltering breath.

Kevin massaged Nick’s balls, watching the skin of his scrotum contract in that reflex that always amazed Kevin, no matter how many times he had seen it and felt it.  

Nick’s breathing was becoming regular again, and he had relaxed into Kevin’s touch. It was time for a change. 

Nick murmured a soft “no” of protest when Kevin’s hand left him.

“Patience, Nick – you know whatever’s next will be even better.”

Kevin had put a nice dollop of lube in his right palm. Closed-fisted, he allowed it to warm before wrapping his hand around Nick’s engorged penis. He started working it like it was his own.

“Uhhhh… ohhh, Kevin…uuh…that’s so good…”

“Mmm, you look so sexy, baby…such a pretty dick…”

“Oooohh, it feels so good…oh, yeah…”

Kevin looked up; Nick was intently watching him, lips parted, face flushed…

“Does this excite you Nick? Watching my hand on your cock?”

“…y-yes…” Nick’s feet had come down to the bed. He was rocking his pelvis into Kevin’s hand, his head raised, so he could see.

“You like how it looks all shiny and slippery, and the wet sounds it makes in my hand?”

Kevin continued firm, wonderful strokes. Nick finally dropped his head back to the bed.

“God, Kevin…ohh…you better stop… uhhh…Kevin, stop – I wanna cum with you inside of me…” 

“Are you sure?”

“Yes…please…” 

Kevin removed his hand and reached for the tube of lubricant.

Nick was panting and looking to see what Kevin was doing.

“Okay, Nick, pull your legs back for me again. Let me at this sexy butt of yours.”

Nick brought his knees back far, anxious to give Kevin as much access as possible. 

“I’m going to warm you up nice and easy, okay? Lots of lube. You know what’s so nice about lubricant Nick? Besides the fact that it gives you a nice, smooth ride? It increases sensitivity. Let me show you.” 

Kevin took his non-lotioned left hand, and stroked a finger lightly over Nick’s opening. There was a slight pick up in his breathing. Kevin continued to stroke over the circular muscle for a few seconds, listening to a soft moan or two. Then he stopped, and put a nice amount of the slick stuff on a fingertip of the other hand.

“Now feel this, baby…” Kevin touched the pad of his fingertip to Nick’s sphincter and moved it in small, slow circles, gliding smoothly and sensuously over the skin. 

“Ohhh…ohhh…Kev…that feels so good…”

Nick was rocking gently, not wanting to break contact with the magical touch. His sphincter was contracting erratically, adding to the sensation. 

“That’s so much better, isn’t it? Ooh, it feels so good, and I’m just on the outside.”

Kevin concentrated his stimulation right in the center, periodically pressing just a fraction of his fingertip into the sphincter, then back out. Nick’s motion picked up, anticipating more and more, the insertion of that finger. His staccato breathing gave away his frustration as Kevin continued to tease him. 

“What do you want me to do Nick? Do you want me to put my finger inside you? Fuck your ass with my finger? Huh?” 

“…please Kevin…put it inside…put it inside…” Nick had raised his head again to watch, his hands now behind his knees, pulling back, wanting his cheeks to be spread as wide as possible for Kevin. 

Kevin teased just a little more, inserting just to the first joint, moving in and out shallowly a few times. As he captured Nick’s gaze, he exhaled audibly, jaw lax, brow furrowed, and slid the length of his finger inside the warm space. 

The feeling of the penetration, and the look on Kevin’s face, drew an erotic whimper from Nick. It was like Kevin had never done this to him before – it was just like the first time. 

“Mmm, you liked that, didn’t you – that feeling when your body is entered, when this sacred little sphincter is ‘violated’? Isn’t it a shame we grow up thinking nothing should go in here, when it feels so…damned…good?” 

Kevin pumped his finger firmly and smoothly in Nick’s ass. Nick was moaning, his head back on the bed again. 

“…Kevin…harder…or faster, or something…please!”

“Okay, Nick, you’re ready for more, just give me a second.”

Kevin withdrew his finger; Nick pushed his hips out hard, chasing the vanishing stimulation.

“Hang on, Nick…”

Kevin put a squirt of lube on the rest of his fingers, and also greased his throbbing erection. 

“Okay, baby, let me make you feel good.”

Kevin pushed a finger decisively back into Nick, prompting a gasp.

“Did I hurt you?”

“…n-no…feels so good…” Nick replied haltingly.

“Good… you’re going to feel a second finger now – just relax for me.”

He pulled his finger out completely and pressed a second against it. Working his fingertips slightly from side to side while gently pushing in, he widened the opening to accept both fingers. 

“Uhh, ohh…oh yeah…oh God, that’s so good…”

Kevin moved both fingers rhythmically inside of Nick, occasionally turning them, loving each new moan, or gasp that he caused. He loved being the aggressor, prided himself on how excited he could get Nick, get him to beg for his touch. Nick trusted him implicitly. If Kevin told him he could drive his car up his ass, Nick would let him try. For right now, a gentle stroke over his prostate would be sufficient… 

“Uhh!…Kev…uhh…” Nick panted and grabbed Kevin’s leg, gripping it firmly.

Kevin had to be gentle with Nick’s prostate. He liked the sensation if he was excited, but he couldn’t tolerate anything heavy. Kevin always did it just right, just enough that Nick had to think if there had actually been pain or not; that edge, that precarious balance between pleasure and pain, where Kevin, himself, liked to go. Nick was increasingly enjoying the short visits Kevin afforded him there. 

“Is that too hard Nick? I don’t want to hurt you.”

“…ohhh…Kevin that’s so intense…aww…Jesus…” 

“Mmm, you should see how sexy the look on your face is...you are so damned beautiful when you’re aroused. I’d like to see you more aroused. Do you think that’s possible Nick? Do you think I can get you any higher baby?” He reached up with his free hand and ran his finger over Nick’s lips. Nick turned to the touch and opened his mouth. Kevin slipped his finger onto Nick’s tongue. He sucked on the offering like it was Kevin’s cock, and when he opened his eyes and flashed a come-on look, drawing the finger deeply into his mouth, Kevin almost lost it. 

Nick could see he affected Kevin; he zealously continued sucking and licking that one finger, gazing hard into those green eyes.

Kevin rescued his finger, Nick’s mouth in pursuit.

“Nick, enough – this is about you right now…”

“Yeah, but you liked that, didn’t you Kevin,” he said seductively, and sucked his own finger once from end to end. 

“You’re being bad Nick…you never know what I might do to you if you’re bad. I think maybe I need to stretch your tight little asshole a bit more…”

Kevin quickly pulled back his fingers, tucked a third one into the group and drove them home. Control re-established. 

“AH!” Nick’s back arched, and his fingers dug into Kevin’s leg. Kevin worked his fingers roughly, knowing that Nick could handle it.

“Do I have your attention baby?” Kevin growled.

“God…yes…oh…fuck …”

“Sorry, did I surprise you?”

“Uh…huh…”

Nick was panting heavily, head back, swallowing frequently against the dryness of his open mouth. “How…how many? How many fingers is that, Kevin?”

“Three. Three fingers.” Kevin continued to move them deeply, pressing frequently from side to side, relaxing the muscle. “Is this too much for you?”

“No…no…am I doing okay?”

“You’re doing wonderfully. You’re almost ready for my cock…” 

Nick was pulling back on his legs, moving his hips up to meet Kevin’s hand.

“That’s it, baby, fuck my fingers! Come on, Nicky, show me you want it!”

“Uhh…kev…ohhh…kev…need you…to…please…in me…please…”

“You’re all ready to be fucked, aren’t you…mmm…yeah…you want my dick in you baby? You want me to fuck you good? Make you come? Huh?”

Nick was bucking against Kevin’s probing fingers, his skin damp with sweat. An iridescent bead slipped over the edge of the slit in the swollen head of his penis, being quickly replaced by another.

Kevin removed his fingers. Nick groaned. Kevin moved to claim his position over Nick. Kevin saw the hunger in his eyes and ached to satiate him. Their mouths locked in a ravenous kiss. Breaking apart, Kevin gazed fiercely at Nick. “I’m going to fuck you long and hard; are you ready?” 

Nick couldn’t remember ever wanting Kevin more than he did now. He wanted to be taken, used, misused, abused – it didn’t fucking matter. He wanted to belong to Kevin, be owned by him, swallowed alive by him. He had never known such emotional passion before and he never wanted to live without it again. 

“Fuck me Kevin……hurry, please…”

Nick was rocking his hips, pulling down on Kevin’s ass, trying to get him inside.

“I want you to do it hard…” 

Kevin quickly lined up his previously lubed cock, and as carefully as the heated moment would allow, pushed the head past the tight ring. 

“…shit…” Kevin groaned, fighting back the urge to slam in a few times and come. He puffed softly and concentrated, gaining back control of his body. 

“Ohh…Kevin…it feels so good…oh God…” Nick had a death grip on Kevin’s hips, trying to get him to move, to go deeper into his body. 

“Trust me baby, I’m not going anywhere, I just need a second.” He decided Nick was about as tightly wound as he’d ever seen him. 

“Okay, Nick, put your legs over my shoulders…that’s it.”

Kevin lifted Nick’s head with one hand and kissed him well. 

“Now – let’s you and me go for a ride…” 

Kevin adjusted his position and began the heavenly journey into Nick’s warm body. Their eyes were riveted; Kevin pushed in three or four inches then pulled back. Nick held onto Kevin’s forearms as he drove in again, this time a good six inches. Nick’s _expression was the yin and yang of intense sex – that indescribable look that’s somewhere between heaven and hell, that look that no one can understand till they’ve been fucked really well themselves. 

“You okay?”

“…I think so…I mean…it burns…Christ you’re big…it’ll stop…don’t stop…you grew more, I think…can you do that…Oh, God…” 

Kevin was sweating – he needed to move. As soon as he pulled back, Nick’s babbling ceased; Kevin’s jaw went slack, his eyes half closed, and he started the long slide that would bury his entire cock in Nick’s hot rectum.  

Kevin loved this. He loved the incredible tightness of anal sex. He had had great sex with women, always enjoyed it; then “she” asked him to give it to her “in her butt”. He didn’t know what was hotter – the incredible stimulation, the massaging of his dick inside that small, almost unyielding orifice, or her erotic, frantic reactions as he worked her, and stretched her, and finally had his huge cock thrust completely in her ass. He loved the way it felt. He loved the way it looked. He loved her for giving him this experience, and for taking the pain that he gave her. It became a favorite activity for them. She had no idea, when she first asked him to perform this act, that it would eventually help him to pursue his secret desires for men.  

Kevin’s pelvis met Nick’s.  

“Ahh, fuck…” Kevin muttered through clenched teeth, his eyes smoldering. “…feels so good in you…”

Nick grabbed higher up on Kevin’s arms, fingers digging into his flesh. His eyes were wide, begging contact with Kevin’s. He moaned at the intensity, the fullness, the pressure; the pain/pleasure battle raged in his mind, in his body. It was there on his face, and Kevin watched it, waiting for a victor to emerge. 

He fucked the boy, slowly at first, till the stuttering breath evened, till the grip on his arms relaxed, till the face showed hunger. Till he asked for more. 

“Uhhh, Kevin…uhh… feels so good…harder…do it Kevin…please…” 

“Ohhh, that’s my Nick!” Kevin shifted slightly, and then unleashed his pelvis, thrusting vigorously into Nick’s tightness. 

As Kevin had warned him, Nick’s backside moved against the pillow with each rocking penetration. He felt the sting from earlier return to his scolded buttocks. He thought back; he could see himself, completely naked, legs spread, bent shamelessly over the bed. He recalled the feeling of exposure, of being displayed for Kevin. The thought excited him. He pictured Kevin, fully clothed, standing behind him, describing the whipping he was about to receive. He felt the sting of Kevin’s own belt on his bare buttocks, pictured him removing that belt from his waist, the sound of the buckle clinking open, the soft snap of the leather as it left each belt loop…he had liked it. He didn’t realize it at the time, but picturing that scene in his mind touched a chord of desire in him.

Kevin saw Nick wince each time he thrust in. It was a different look than he might see if Nick was uncomfortable from penetration alone.

“Nick?” Kevin panted, beads of sweat on his chest, his face. “Are you okay?”

“My butt…” he replied, his own breath labored. Kevin slowed himself.

“I’m sorry, Nick – should we move you onto your knees? I can do this and not even touch you where you’re sore, I promise.”

“NO! No. I’m…it’s okay…it’s good…it’s more intense, it reminds me…” 

Kevin allowed those few words to filter through his mind. He suspected that Nick, on some level, might have liked what had happened earlier.

He returned to more purposeful thrusts, and took a chance…

“You liked it. You liked what I did to you, Nick.”

Nick eyes were locked on his; his breath quickened beyond its already significant rate. Kevin knew he was right.

“You liked me disciplining you, didn’t you baby?” He thrust roughly into Nick, causing a definite wince. “Answer me Nick, or I might have to discipline you again!”

“YES…I…I don’t know why, because it hurt, bad…” Kevin started to pound into Nick, knowing his ass must be on fire with each stroke.

“Uhhh…Kevin…ohh, god…”

“Mmm, it was hot, putting my belt to your ass – watching it get all warm and red, knowing you wanted, and needed to be punished!” Kevin drove into Nick with all he had, feeling himself close to his orgasm.  

Nick was moaning loudly, almost wailing, with each of Kevin’s thrusts, his face taut with pain and pleasure, lust and love. His cock, a beautiful pale cylinder of hardened flesh, blue veins bulging, head engorged to a violaceous hue, tapped urgently on his abdomen. Nick reached down in response. 

“Nick! No! I’ll take care of you in a minute, much better than your hand – I promise,” Kevin puffed, his head dropping then, as he voyeuristically watched himself fucking Nick’s ass.

Nick groaned and squeezed his hand back onto Kevin’s arm. Kevin felt the pressure boiling in his groin, and then rising in his dick like fevered mercury in a glass tube, exploding out the top to escape the impossible confines. 

Kevin unleashed an aching cry as he came; the ecstasy raced like lightening from synapse to synapse, shocking his entire nervous system into heightened alert. His climax was unusually intense, the culmination of the emotional roller coaster he and Nick had been strapped into all week. Not usually very vocal, he moaned unabashedly as he erupted over and over into Nick’s ass. 

“Holy shit ……unbelievable……oh Jesus, Nick…” Kevin huffed, his chest heaving, hair wet, skin hot. He reluctantly pulled out of his lover. He carefully lifted Nick’s legs off his shoulders and eased them one at a time to the bed. Nick was almost hyperventilating, eyes glazed, hips rocking. Kevin moved up Nick’s body and hovered, sweat dripping off him to Nick’s chest. He lowered his head and kissed Nick deeply, but briefly, as neither had the breath to linger there. Nick looked up at Kevin, mute, eyes pleading for something more. 

Kevin straddled Nick’s hips. He found the lubricant and quickly buttered up Nick’s cock. Still trying to catch his breath, but unable to let Nick suffer another moment, he guided the begging erection immediately to his experienced body. Pressing down over the head, he engulfed Nick in two quick passes, ignoring the burn that this hurried penetration caused.  

Kevin couldn’t take his eyes off Nick’s face. Nick was eerily quiet, but his eyes screamed. Kevin stretched Nick’s arms overhead and held his hands to the pillow. Nick, half crazed with need, looked up at Kevin, trustful that he would be taken care of. Nick knew, more than ever before, that Kevin would see that his needs were met – not just his sexual needs, but his need for love, and security…even discipline. 

Kevin moved powerfully on Nick, no discomfort apparent on his face; only fierce concentration on his body and on Nick’s response. He knew it wouldn’t be long. 

Nick thrust gratefully into Kevin, this being an uncommon occurrence. Kevin usually gave him head or jacked him while he fucked him. It was so incredibly hot to look down and see his dick inside Kevin. Oh, God, the feeling was incredible. 

Nick’s hips were rising urgently to meet Kevin’s; Kevin came down on him harder and harder, adjusting his angle for his own pleasure. Nick’s breathing signaled his impending climax. His eyes darted across Kevin’s face, head moving fitfully on the pillow. He struggled to free his arms from Kevin’s grip. 

“Uh-uh, Nick. I want your arms up here,” Kevin firmly insisted; Nick relaxed his arms and squeezed Kevin’s hands.

“That’s it baby. I’m going to hold you down and watch you come. You are ready, aren’t you… (bends to Nick’s ear)…to come inside my ass?” 

Nick inhaled sharply, and then unleashed the most aching, poignant wail. Kevin slammed down on him, driving him to the bed, and then rocked his hips rhythmically as Nick came.

“Ohh…Kevin… oh god, I’m coming…uhhh…KEVIN!”

“That’s it, baby, let it go,” Kevin urged softly, enjoying immensely Nick’s emotional climax.

Nick squeezed Kevin’s hands, and looked into his eyes with such abandon, such…surrender, as his orgasm rocked his body.

“…hold me…Kev…don’t let me go…”

“I’ve got you, Nick.” Kevin moved his hands onto Nick’s wrists and pressed them more firmly to the bed. He returned to some long, slow thrusts until he felt Nick’s last shudder. 

The teenager gazed longingly at his older lover.

“You make me feel so good, Kev, so special…like you love me.”

Kevin smiled, his eyes passionate. “I do love you Nick, don’t you know that?”

He leaned over and they shared a sensuous kiss. Kevin brought Nick’s arms forward and laid them on his chest. 

“I need to move, Nick. Okay?” He slowly raised his hips as Nick’s partially erect penis drew free from him. Nick’s eyes closed briefly at the loss.

Kevin lay down beside Nick, propped on an elbow.

“How’s that backside of yours doing?”

“I forgot it there for a minute. It hurt at first, but then it was a…a… good hurt, do you know what I mean?”

Kevin tried not to grin. “I know exactly what you mean.”

Nick’s eyes lowered, a touch embarrassed.  

“Nick, roll over on your stomach and let me take a look.”

Nick did as Kevin asked. Kevin looked for the redness – almost gone. The welts were flat now, but red lines recalled their location. There were some scattered ptechiae, those little red dots where tiny capillaries break under the skin. Harmless, those would fade in a few days. Next, he carefully touched the skin… 

“Ow. That’s still pretty sore.”

“Do you want me to put some more cream on you?”

“Can I lay across your lap?”

“Absolutely.” 

The two went briefly to the bathroom and washed off. Kevin then sat on the side of the bed, Nick draped across his lap. As he affectionately applied the cool stuff to Nick’s sensitive cheeks, Nick talked. 

“Kevin?”

“Yeah?”

“I’ve been thinking.”

“About what?”

“Well, if I ever do something really bad again, or something that makes you really, really, mad, would you ever, you know, like…punish me again?”

Kevin smiled inwardly.

“Well Nick, if I really thought you needed it, or it would help you, or us, I guess I would.”

There was a brief silence.

“Kevin?”

“Yes, Nick?”

“If you do, or would, I’d like you to do it like this.”

“Like what?”

“Over your lap.”

“Like, spank you?”

“Yeah.”

“Like, bare butt, over my knees, spank you?”

“…yes…”

“We may just have to try that sometime.”

“Kevin?”

Kevin grinned.

“What Nick?”

“Do I have to be bad for us to try it?”